I have been a fan of the show “24” from the very first season. I remember reading about the concept and how it was supposed to be an entire season where each episode was an hour during one particular day. The buzz was great that first season. It was also a first season that opened with an entire plane exploding in mid-air with the terrorist responsible actually escaping out of the plane to do it. That’s quite an impressive way to start.

From that point forward “24” has seldom disappointed. Has it made a few missteps along the way? Sure, all of us who are fans recall with a cringe the whole Elisha Cuthbert versus the cougar phase. Many of us also remember the season that just sort of meandered around while Jack flew into Mexico and dealt with drug dealers and somehow the drug dealers had something to do with a virus or something. It seemed to take forever to get going. However, even that season, once the virus got released in a hotel full of people things started moving. It made me realize that the whole season should have started with the virus being released in the hotel instead of the whole drug dealer thing.

They are the most tenacious people on earth, is what they are. These are the people who, despite public opinion, despite laws and rules, despite health concerns and despite weather still continue to do the particular activity that they seem to enjoy more than any other. They do it flagrantly at times. They seem to enjoy it. Many are helpless to stop it. Most of them couldn’t or can’t stop it if they wanted to. Of course, I am speaking about smokers.

Nearly every city in the United States has passed some kind of law that outlaws smoking in public. If you want to have just a tiny inkling of what segregation must have been like just hang out with smokers. In Chicago they are pretty much relegated to areas outside but in some places you can still find smoking sections in restaurants. You know that one booth way in the corner that has yellowish stains all over the upholstery. There are about sixty smoker all desperately crowded around this table puffing away as though their life depends on it.

I feel I need to do a lot of qualifying in this particular rant. There are a few things I think need to be gotten straight and kept straight in everyone’s head before I can proceed. There are some things going on in the media and on television over the past few days and, to be honest with you, it’s really hard to pick a villain in this scenario. Yet, despite this fact and despite the rather obnoxious and potentially villainous demeanor and manner of other key elements of this story one giant enormous head has come screeching to an ear-splitting pitch and made me want to stab myself in the eyes with a letter-opener.

Some of you may remember the historic battle that took place this time last year. Well, if you believed the wackos out there like Billy-boy O’Reilly and other whack-a-moles who were trying to convince the world there was this “Assault on Christmas.” Yes, it was a historic battle, on par with the Battle of Britain or the Battle of Midway or Gettysburg. I am happy to say that major combat operations over Christmas have come to an end and the holiday appears to have survived intact and better than ever. I would have parachuted onto an aircraft carrier had I been able to find one parked outside of my apartment building but, strangely enough, there weren’t any.

I was thinking about the coffee chain Starbucks today. I was doing this while standing in line to order my “tall” coffee which is always greeted with a strange kind of disappointment by the baristas. They want me to come up with some convoluted concoction that they had to go to school to learn how to make. What talents and dazzling skill does it take to simply grab a cup and turn a knob and poor coffee into a cup? Not very much.

Anyway, I was thinking about the general homogenization of America. I was keeping it to this country although, I guess, when you think about it enough companies are all over the world that the entire world has become homogenized. What I mean by homogenized is that everything is pretty much the same no matter what city you go to. This is never more evident, at least to me, than when you walk into a Starbucks.

If you are anything like me, first of all let me give you my condolences, then you were made to feel afraid, very afraid, when you saw Lindsay, Britney and Paris all in the same car together. The combined brainpower in that vehicle had to equal about one watt and they were behind the wheel of a vehicle that must weigh close to a ton or more. It certainly made me glad that I did not live anywhere near wherever they were likely driving and puking and endangering pedestrians.

At some point it must have become cool for young women to be stupid. I know this is something that has been written about before and by others but it really struck me while I sat there looking at the photograph of those three in a car. I don’t understand what kind of message this sends to anyone who might be young and also female. Hell, I wonder what kind of message it sends to anyone anywhere about anything. These are the people we deem newsworthy?

It’s amazing to think that there are places in this very country where men and women devote all of their time by high school football. You see it in places like Chicago in some of the suburbs as well but it takes on a whole new level in some places like in Texas. When you live in a big city like Chicago or New York or Detroit you have major league sports team to serve as a distraction. You also have a lot of city with a lot of opportunities for kids to take advantage of. In short, football isn’t the only way to actually get out of the town and into a big city.

A few years back there was a book called “Friday Night Lights” about a town in Texas where football was pretty much the very lifeblood of the town. It was a kind of obsession that even the most ardent Bears or Packers fan would find strange. It was the kind of obsession that made it seem as if people would live and die based upon what the local high school football team did. Whereas you may wait until Sunday with anticipation for your NFL team or maybe Saturday to watch you favorite college team but these places waited for Friday night. The games are carried on local television and news stations. The local sports radio stations talked about the games and the players the way your local sports radio stations may talk about the NFL team.

I had originally planned to write about a show that has taken me by surprise by being of excellent quality. It’s nice when that kind of thing happens mostly because it has been so rare as of late. There was a time when you might find multiple shows that were pretty good. Of course that may have been when I was about ten years old so it’s hard to say if I had any real taste considering I was still watching cartoons on Saturday morning. Anyway, I had wanted to recommend a show to people because I have been taken by surprise by this particular show. However, the Fox network showed a commercial for something that almost knocked me on the floor.

November is the month that seems to pull the conspiracy nuts out of the woodwork. Of course, this month seems destined to bring them out more than even a normal November. The first reason this month always brings them out is because John F. Kennedy was assassinated toward the end of this month. Nothing makes the average conspiracy nut salivate more than mention of Dealey Plaza, the Texas School Book Depository or Lee Harvey Oswald. If you want to make them really get upset and possibly injure you I dare you to bring up the Warren Commission as well. God forbid you even hint at the idea you might believe what the commissions said in their findings. This month is also supposed to see the release of the movie “Bobby” which is about the last hours of Bobby Kennedy’s life.

You know you have to put up with them, provided you are not part of the TiVO generation. These are the little bits of entertainment between the shows. You may know them better as commercials. Perhaps it’s been a while since you even watched these things. Luckily for you, I am keeping an eye on things for you. First thing you should know is that they have not gotten any better in the years since you first started using your remote to flip around when they came on.

In fact, I am starting to think there may be a problem in the advertising world. They seem to have completely lost the ability to create decent commercials. I have a hard time blaming TiVO as the generation that will grow up with that device have not yet gotten jobs in the advertising field. As such, they would not be there to create these infernal commercials that are not funny, not creative and not able to sell anything.

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